Ice Cream, Instant Oatmeal and Bogging Down in Convenience

Sometimes I tell my students that it's really much, much faster to do research with a book. Or, at least, an academic database. Anything other than the internet. They, of course, don't believe me. I am still getting used to the fact that they are rebelling against The System, and that I am regarded as part of the system. Talk about a mind-fuck! But I digress.

It's hard to convince people of the difference between convenience and accessibility and real world practicality. The internet, for instance, will give you thousands and thousands of informational websites about a mundane term like “dyspepsia.” (Over 1,500,000 hits on Google!..shades of McDonalds.) All that information! And you access it anywhere...from your room, from your web equipped cellphone, in a coffee shop, in the toilet, while you eat...anywhere.

But, first, you've got millions and millions of potentially useful places to look at. This is not a help. I liken it to going to get an ice cream cone on a hit summer day. You go to one place, and they've got four choices...chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate chip. You buy your ice cream and go out and enjoy it. You go to another place, and they've 7,292 possible ice cream choices. Is this really beneficial? It's hot. You want ice cream. Spending fifteen minutes reading a list of choices—and most of the time, people pick vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, or chocolate chip anyway—is a waste of time on every level.

In the same vein, people love the fact that they can do research on the internet “anywhere.” But is this a plus? I mean, I personally don't like to be distracted when I'm using a computer. Since most public use computers aren't put in the middle of crowded thoroughfares, my assumption is that this is a shared feeling. And since scholastic and/or work research is last thing we really want to use a computer for, any sort of distraction when we're doing this type of activity is going to be...distracting. Using the internet in a dorm room, or a shared room, or among friends is like having a lecture on economics in the middle of the French Quarter. Nobody cares. Even the lecturer. And the end result is crappy.

But you just can't convince some people of this. No...it's easier! It's more convenient! When it's explained that the convenience, in this case, usually means more time to get less result, the response is disbelief. But what can you expect? We live in a world that promotes “instant” oatmeal..just pour boiling water over instant oatmeal and stir it for thirty seconds. And it;s done! Thank god we've rescued ourselves from boiling water and stirring regular old “slow” oatmeal into it for a full stinking minute. Sure, instant oatmeal costs ten times as much and isn't as good for you. But it takes, like 30 seconds less. It's instant! It's enough to drive me to drink. Or ice cream.

Summer Blockbuster Haikus

Indy still has it
And Marion's still plucky
Perhaps no fridge nuke?


Cate the Great with crop
But the accent's got to go
Too much Bullwinkle

***

A bald Jeff Bridges
Plays off Robert Downey like
Cue ball and eight ball

***

Dark, dark, dark, dark knight
But too dark—and fix that voice
Batman...overdone

Hospital Food

My mother goes to the hospital tomorrow for minor surgery (hopefully). It's possibly outpatient, but likely an overnight stay...she's 84 now, and it's better to be safe than sorry in terms of going to the hospital, getting an hour or two of surgery, and checking out/going home on the same day. Let's have them monitor things for a night.

I will be in the cafeteria at least once or twice. That means salad bars...I've discovered that hospitals almost always have good salad bars. And the food area is always well lit and comfortable to some degree. But it's always such an alien, incompatible atmosphere of wildly clashing customers...the nurses, doctors, and (especially) drug company reps that talk loudly, waving their forks airily around to make their point, laughing about some shared experiences. And the rest of us, waiting for news of loved ones, faces pinched with strain and worry.

I just focus on my food. The salad bar is always good.

What music to play while driving through Utah at 90 miles per hour

...with a dog and cat in your car. I go through the San Rafael Swell about four times a year. It's a great drive, even if you are in a Chevy Malibu Maxx stuffed to the gills with suitcases and a dog and cat. The 170 miles from the Utah/Colorado border to civilization took me about 115 minutes today. Filling that time up was:

Amy Winehouse--Frank
Great voice. I get amused when I read about people/critics talking about her "multiple influences and styles!!" like she invented that or something. (Send a memo to Ella, Sarah Vaughan, Anita O'Day, etc.) But, hey, I'm mentioning Amy in that company. That's a compliment. Loved the disc.

U2--The Joshua Tree
Not all of it; does anyone need to hear "With or Without You" again? But the songs that I still think of as the side 2 songs sounded terrific.

Ben Folds Five--Whatever and Ever Amen
Freaked my dog Daisy out with my wild gesticulations and loud singing of "kiss my ass goodbye!" and "Well, fuck you too!"

And then it was civilization again.

Happy Birthday to You, Exile in Guyville

Exile in Guyville is now 15 years old, and it's recently been reissued. It was wonderful then, it's wonderful now. Everyone knows it.



Props for getting John Cusack out there to talk. You knew he was into the Chicago indie scene at the time. You just knew.

And the fact that Liz Phair is now 41 and has had a kid and has realized that she's volcanically hot and getting hotter is a joy too. I'd like to tell her that she rocks, because it's literally true.

The Goodreads thing

My friend Beth got me to get logged into goodreads.com. It’s a terrific idea…you list books you’ve read, and review them in as much or little detail as you want. You can look at what others say, and get updates on what your “friends” are reading. Kind of like a book club with no drinking or fondue.

What's fascinating is to see what other people like and don’t like. Sure it appalls me that someone would think that complexity of The Best and the Brightest is “dry” or “boring.” But then you can see what grades these people give to other books. It’s like looking inside the heads of people that you usually don’t talk to in those cases. Seriously, it’s fascinating.

Seems like the majority of members are under 35 and there are a whole lot of them, which leads me think that maybe reading isn’t dead. That, maybe, it’s quite healthy. So even when I’m freaked by someone’s comments (King Lear gets two stars from a woman who says the play is only for “people who enjoy Shakespear!!!"), it’s still nice to see that there are lot of us still turning pages.